What’s the worst that can happen to me if I become no longer my brother’s payee?
Question by Candy: What’s the worst that can happen to me if I become no longer my brother’s payee?
I receive SSI & Social Security here in the US, & I’m 25 & mentally disabled. I have a college degree & can handle my $ $ . This is my 1st time being someone’s payee. My 31-yr. old brother, who is more mentally impaired than I am.
My older sister was his payee, & he left from her because she always misused his $ $ & gambled it up. He supposedly can’t count $ $ . He pretty much PUSHED himself on me & didn’t give me a chance to tell him that I won’t be able to care for him. Also, I felt VERY sick last week, & he didn’t care how I felt. He didn’t want to hear me try to tell him I can’t have others stay with me because it will make my anxiety, OCD, & Tourette’s worse, & it will mess up my lease if he stayed with me. Just like he got angry & left her, if he were on my lease, if we get into an argument, he would up & leave & not care if my credit is destroyed. It can be an argument as simple as me reminding him to wash his hands after using the bathroom. You never know when he’ll snap & leave me paying over $ 400/mo. that I can’t afford.
My landlord doesn’t like to make changes in the lease contracts. So, I would’ve been stuck. My brother is currently not on the lease. The lease says guests can stay 5 consecutive nights, twice out the month, & I don’t have $ 45 extra to let my brother stay here longer. It was his 5th day here, so he had to leave anyway.
My ears are very sensitive because I have a condition, called hyperacusis, & I’m easily prone to ear infections.
Answer by richchili
You receive his money, you pay his bills with the money he has. That is all you have to do. He does not have to live with you and no one can force that. Complete strangers from banks or social service agencies are people’s Payees – they don’t do anything more than pay bills.
Stop making this into something it isn’t. Your brother has a mental illness. Rent him a place to live that he can afford. Pay the bills and give him the key. Don’t do anymore than you want to or are capable of.
Unless you want to take him to court and find him incompetent, he is an adult able to make his own bad decisions. You pay the bills so he has a basic place to live, food in the frig, and the light and electric paid. Give him $ 30 a month for spending money – that’s what he would get in a group home. If he doesn’t want to live there – that’s his choice. You spent his money on what he needed to be safe.
Than let him be an adult.
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