Q&A: How can I accept and be confident in my looks?
Question by Terrence Mann: How can I accept and be confident in my looks?
i don’t think that I’m unattractive or anything ( though I was told that I was once when I was 13 and it has plagued me a bit ) but I just don’t feel that I’m attractive enough to girls. I’m already a shy and introverted person and I just don’t even bother sometimes trying to ask girls out b/c I just automatically assume that they wouldn’t be interested in me. When I go out with friends I talk to girls but it’s never anything serious. Plus the thing with me is I’m open up with more with people that I know, and I all ways feel like people are judging me or something, so that makes me just shut down to a degree. Then it doesn’t help matters when I always see and hear girls gush over guys that are super cute to them, and that I’m 23 and have never been in a relationship before. I don’t compare myself to those guys or anything but my confidence drops though when I hear girls talk about guys that are super cute to them. Currently I’m in art school studying audio production ( I would like to be a record producer and recording artist ), and next year I plan to move to L.A. to pursue acting and music. I also already have a degree in Marketing Management in case my dreams fall through. I’m a sweet, kind, compassionate, caring, smart, funny, reliable, sincere, creative, honest, trust-worthy, considerate, patient, friendly, laid-back, and giving person. So I should have confidence in myself and looks. I do to a degree but something is always holding me back. I’m told all the time that I’m going to make some lucky woman a great bf, husband, and a great father to my kids someday. I totally know that I can be someone special to a girl but I just need help stepping out of my shell and being more comfortable with my looks. I don’t want to go through life apprehensive when it comes to approaching women and end up alone. The biggest dream I have in life is getting married and having a family. I won’t until I over come my apprehension. I know what it feels like to love others, b/c when I love I love strong but I don’t know what its like to have the feelings that I have for someone returned. I’d really appreciate some advice. Sorry for the long details. God bless all of you! Take care!
Best answer:
Answer by DeweyWatermelon
You do sound like a great guy. Girls don’t always go after looks. When someone is cute, it may not be cute to another. Someone may be cute, but not attractive enough personality-wise. It’s complicate but looks are not everything to chemistry with another person.
You can start out by just asking for a date and don’t expect the relationship to move on to girlfriend and boyfriend status automatically. This will help you get to know a girl better without any real ties. Dating is to get to know someone better. Try being their friends first and just talking to them as friends. If you really like them, ask them out. If she says no, then give yourself a pat on the back for trying. That’s part of being man for trying.
You’re 23, and that’s really young. You have time to settle down. Relax, take your time, and learn from experience until you figure yourself out and find the girl of your dreams : ). Experience doesn’t have to be dirty things, but learning about what you like and dont like or want and don’t want.
What do you think? Answer below!