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Q&A: CAN ANYONE PLEASE CONTRIBUTE AND CORRECT MY 1ST BODY PARAGRAPH.?
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Q&A: CAN ANYONE PLEASE CONTRIBUTE AND CORRECT MY 1ST BODY PARAGRAPH.?

Question by James Davidson: CAN ANYONE PLEASE CONTRIBUTE AND CORRECT MY 1ST BODY PARAGRAPH.?
I would highly appreciate it if anyone helps me.

Introduction Paragraph
I am suited to become a filmmaker because of my vast knowledge in cinema, my dedication, and my ability to impact people trough filmmaking. Throughout my life I’ve taken several cinema courses which have shaped my knowledge in filmmaking. I’ve also dedicated my time and effort towards filmmaking to learn and become better each day. I have the capacity to impact people who view my films. It is my knowledge in filmmaking, my devotion, and being able impact people who watch my films which makes me suited to become a filmmaker.

1st Body Paragraph
During the past few years I have taken many cinema classes which have shaped my knowledge in filmmaking. For example, I’ve taken courses that have taught me how to properly use a camera, how to create a storyboard, and edit videos. These are some of the most important things every filmmaker should know in order to become successful in the future. There are also other things I’ve learned through hard work and studying such as how to write scripts, record audio, and direct. In addition, many of the classes I’ve taken have also taught me about marketing, contracts, and distribution. Before I ever started to learn many of the things that I have learned, I didn’t have a clue about filmmaking. I also didn’t feel confident about going out in public with my video camera. I also felt like I would have never learned how to film, which was always a dream of mine since a child, but thanks to all the teachers who have taught me about filmmaking I know I feel confident because I have the neccesary knowledge to follow my dream and start a profession out of filmmaking.

Oh and by the way, if anyone feels like my introduction paragraph needs any corrections, please make the necessary corrections =)

Best answer:

Answer by Monkeyblah
You’ve repeated a couple things in the body that you said in the introduction.ie “classes which have shaped my knowledge in film making” use different words

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