Q&A: what should i tell (or do) to my bandmates?

Question by dinkotddr: what should i tell (or do) to my bandmates?
ok so i have a band, and we’re still starting, not even 1 year.
we’ve also just finished our 1st mini-album (in indie way), and also building Myspace, Friendster. however, still not large following (it can perhaps due to my sucky music industry scene here, and very low purchasing power and rampant piracy).
I am the one who’ve formed the concept & vision for the band, initially. and i’m usually also the one who compose most music & lyrics, and even also arrange.
at first, we’ve started quite ambitious and seems like having ‘one’ same vision..but unfortunately, the more we play together and get to know each other closer, the more it became apparent the differences between me and the rest of my band members (4 of them. i’m in keyboard). the sad truth is almost everybody can see that my bandmates are lacking talents, except me. even in one big local band competition, one grand jury secretly told me that i’m the only one who can be ‘competitive’ , while my other bandmates (including vocalist) need to “learn & improve more”.
this is still not to mention that i’m having some problems with my bandmates’ attitude: they often deny & defend themselves, and hard to admit mistake and accept constructive criticisms, while keep making excuses, even sometimes accusing me of being “way too dominant”.
one of the band members even told me indirectly if “there’s anyONE in the band who’s leaving this ‘family’ , and thus make the band in trouble, then i’ll never want to see or befriend with that ONE person anymore!”
some of my friends have even told me that this is such an ‘immature’ comment made by my bandmate, that shows more how ‘clingy’ (they’re clinging to my ‘rare’ music talent) and desperate he is..
this all really hurts my feelings, and it made me down.
this is still not to mention that they also depend on me too much on money, resources, transportation, and even my quite-natural promoting/marketing skill (& even the amount of HARDWORKS i’ve done to the band!) . and furthermore, each of bandmates also has his/her own idealistic musical-taste, that makes them hate if i ‘seem’ to be the one who wants them to follow my lead & vision. not as ‘one’ vision anymore as originally i’ve had in my mind about my band.. it’s so inevitable.
so ironically, the more i’m with them,.the more i feel like they’re clinging to me, and also, that i’m kinda ‘limited’ in my position to do what i’m very very capable of.

But just in this recent month, a really really BIG and unexpected opportunity that will turn my life completely around has come to me. basically, a very famous music animation studio & producer from overseas (ie: japan) has seen my ‘rare’ musical talent, so they said.
i’ve taken care all the details, and all what’s left is just for me to leave.
the problem is: i just don’t know what to tell (or do) to my bandmates?
ie: what’s the most rational & sensible thing to do, without hurting their feelings?
especially if they’re lacking talents, but they have such very strong dreams (& i’m sure if i told them about this very BIG opportunity coming from overseas, they’ll try to ‘cling’ to me even more).
i’m just so confused… at one point, i’m so scared to hurt their (my bandmates’ feelings). but at other point, many have told me that sometimes i need to be ‘selfish’ and MOVE ON with my life, for a better future.
but the problem is, i’m really “too nice” as a person, that indeed sometimes i feel that’s why people can take advantage easily of me.. my dad has even told me boldly that i’m stupid, because according to him, my bandmates have ‘taken advantage’ of me and my talents and my resources.
i really need a strong and practical suggestion here.
thanks.

Best answer:

Answer by pertinential
The only way I can see this working out for you is to tell them that you’re wanted to play/create music for a music animation studio/producer. Think of it as a job. They probably won’t stop you. Would you stop someone else from getting a cool job?

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