Proofreading/Editing help?
by dbking
Question by cescisCECSY: Proofreading/Editing help?
Please edit my one page summary on Rihanna [singer], I might have a lot of grammar errors..?
Born on the 20th of February 1988, Robyn Rihanna Fenty is a singer and songwriter from St. Michael, which is a small county located in the islands of Barbados. She is influenced by singers such as Alicia Keys, Beyonce, and Mariah Carey, and makes similar RNB and Hip-Hop music. Known by her stage name ‘Rihanna’, she’s the first female artist to have six #1 singles in the United States since 2000 and has sold more than 12 million copies of her albums, a number soon to increase after the release of her fourth studio album, “Rated R”. With no doubt, Rihanna is one of the hottest singers of the decade.
Rihanna lived the life of a normal girl, and never imagined she would be so successful. She grew up in an average house but didn’t live in the best neighborhood. After meeting Evan Rogers, a producer from New York who was on vacation in Barbados, her life was about to change. She was sixteen when he arranged for her to meet Shawn ‘Jay-Z’ Carter, who was the CEO of Def Jam Records. Before and during the auditions, Rihanna said she was “nervous as hell!” But right away, Jay-Z got her to sign a contract for six albums; he knew she was going to be big. It was said that she didn’t even leave the building until four in the morning to fill out and sign papers. That literally is the definition of overnight success!
In a matter of weeks, the first single titled “Pon de Replay” from her first album hit the radio. Her very first album “Music of the Sun” spawned two other hits that made it to the Top 40. Eight months after the release of her debut album, “A Girl Like Me”, her second album, boasts Billboard Hot-100 chart-toppers “SOS” and “Unfaithful”. On March 29, 2007, Rihanna released a new single with an edgier style, look, and sound. “Umbrella” reached the top spot in Billboard’s Hot-100 and kicked off her upcoming third album, “Good Girl Gone Bad”, which sold just under 8-million copies in the first week of its release! It was the singer’s third album that made her an international pop star with a regular presence on the charts.
Ofcourse, no one can mention Rihanna without talking about the night she was brutally assaulted by her 20 year-old ex-boyfriend, pop star Chris Brown. In February of 2009, she wasn’t able to perform or even attend the 2009 Grammy awards because it was around the time Chris’s violent beating took place. No one has said anything about why it happened; Rihanna and Chris weren’t willing to open up. After the beating, Rihanna immediately ended their one-year relationship even though Chris tried his best in order for them to stay together. Sentenced to five years of probation, Brown also had to complete 6 months of community service and take anger management classes due to his actions. Even though she was a victim of domestic abuse, Rihanna learned how to forgive Chris and move on. “I actually love and care about him,” says the singer. “I want him to do well, have a great career, have a great life, and grow up. And take this as something you had to go through in order to grow up and learn”.
[Still working on the conclusion]
PLEASE PLEASE POINT OUT ANY GRAMMAR MISTAKES AND RUN ON SENTENCES AND THAT STUFF (English is my 2nd language!).. PLUS IF YOU HAVE ANY OTHER TIPS THAT WOULD BE GREAT 😀
Thanks in advance!!
Best answer:
Answer by Vincent
Born on the 20th of February, (add comma) 1988, Robyn Rihanna Fenty is a singer and songwriter from St. Michael, which is a small county located in the islands of Barbados. She is influenced by singers such as Alicia Keys, Beyonce, and Mariah Carey, and makes similar RNB and Hip-Hop music. Known by her stage name ‘Rihanna’, she’s the first female artist to have six #1 singles in the United States since 2000 and has sold more than 12 million copies of her albums, a number soon to increase after the release of her fourth studio album, “Rated R.” (punctuation always goes inside quotes, unless it’s a semicolon) With no doubt, Rihanna is one of the hottest singers of the decade.
Rihanna lived the life of a normal girl (no need for comma here, the next phrase is a dependent clause) and never imagined she would be so successful. She grew up in an average house, (comma here) but didn’t live in the best neighborhood. After meeting Evan Rogers, a producer from New York who was on vacation in Barbados, her life was about to change. She was sixteen when he arranged for her to meet Shawn ‘Jay-Z’ Carter, who was the CEO of Def Jam Records. Before and during the auditions, Rihanna said she was “nervous as hell!” but soon after that (rephrased), Jay-Z got her to sign a contract for six albums; he knew she was going to be big. It was said that she didn’t even leave the building until four in the morning to fill out and sign papers. That literally is the definition of overnight success!
In a matter of weeks, the first single titled, “Pon de Replay,” (add comma before and after quotes) from her first album hit the radio. Her very first album, “Music of the Sun,” (comma before and after quotes) spawned two other hits that made it to the Top 40. Eight months after the release of her debut album, “A Girl Like Me,” (punctuation inside quotes) her second album, boasts Billboard Hot-100 chart-toppers, (comma) “SOS” and “Unfaithful.” (punctuation inside quotes) On March 29, 2007, Rihanna released a new single with an edgier style, look, and sound. “Umbrella” reached the top spot in Billboard’s Hot-100 and kicked off her upcoming third album, “Good Girl Gone Bad,” (punctuation inside quotes) which sold just under 8-million copies in the first week of its release! It was the singer’s third album that made her an international pop star with a regular presence on the charts.
Of (space) course, no one can mention Rihanna without talking about the night she was brutally assaulted by her 20 year-old ex-boyfriend and (use and instead of comma) pop star, (comma after introductory) Chris Brown. In February of 2009, she wasn’t able to perform or even attend the 2009 Grammy awards, (add comma, it’s followed by a independent clause) because it was around the time Chris’s violent beating took place. No one has said anything about why it happened; Rihanna and Chris weren’t willing to open up. After the beating, Rihanna immediately ended their one-year relationship, (comma) even though Chris tried his best in order for them to stay together. Sentenced to five years of probation, Brown also had to complete six (spell out 6) months of community service and take anger management classes due to his actions. Even though she was a victim of domestic abuse, Rihanna learned how to forgive Chris and move on. “I actually love and care about him,” says the singer. “I want him to do well, have a great career, have a great life, and grow up. And take this as something you had to go through in order to grow up and learn.” (punctuation inside quotes)
Your writing is amazing. I honestly would not think english was your second language. Keep it up!!
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