Question by Ryssa: PLEASE READ AND COMMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
This is the first chapter of my book. What do you think?
I looked up at my wall and let my eyes fill with angry tears. How could he just up and leave? He was a star now, but I missed him. Charles’s picture hung everywhere. I had to be his biggest fan. He was my best friend.
He was just a pop star now. I wanted my best friend back. On the posters he was posing, sometimes with his shirt off and his awesome abs showing. My heart pounded hard every time I looked into the eyes of each of his posters. Man, was I in love with him.
Charles was coming back though. He was staying for two weeks this summer. Maybe I could convince him to come home permanently. My tears spilt over and I sobbed into my pillow. A knock sounded at my door and I wiped my eyes.
“Come in!” I called. The door opened and a familiar face popped in. It was Charles. I jumped off my bed and threw my arms around him. He hugged me to his chest.
“Someone’s a big fan,” he put me down. His voice was deeper than it had been six months ago. He walked around my room, looking at each of the posters. “You have nearly every poster made of me,” he turned back to me and hugged me again.
“I missed you,” I mumbled.
“I missed you too,” he let go of me. He looked over at my guitar. “You started playing?” He smiled at me. I nodded and picked up the guitar. I sat on my bed and adjusted my fingers.
“I first saw you under the stars, when I started school In Seymour,” I started strumming the guitar. “I don’t tell you how I feel cause . . .” I smiled. “No one is there to help me send.”
Charles sat next to me. His foot tapped to the beat and he smiled at my guitar. It was just like his. I changed chords a few times then started the chorus.
“I think of you every single day, I think about you everyday. I like how you are a sweet, loving person, it’s a pleasure to be sad around you,” this was true for me.
This whole song was true, I loved him so much. He was the best friend I met in grade school outside the school at night. Charles was still tapping his foot, but now his hand slapped against his knee to the beat as well.
“My life would be complete if we were together. When I started school In Seymour, I could only hope that we could be together. Naivety plaguing me,” I sung louder.
Charles’s face was full of approval. Both of his feet tapped in unison, his hand tapped against his knee, and his other hand was resting on my shoulder.
“I think of you every single day, I think about you everyday. I like how you are a sweet, loving person. A fight here or there but they weren’t that bad,” I strummed the guitar on my last chord and looked over at Charles again.
“Wow,” he chuckled. I blushed and took out a small book from under my mattress.
“These are my songs,” I handed it to him. He flipped through the book and jumped up. He took my hand and hurried me out of the room, then out of the house.
I was confused as he led me to his old SUV and he got me in and put my guitar carefully in the trunk. He drove us down to the recording studio where he had gotten his recording contract. Charles got my guitar and walked me up to the doors of the recording studio.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“I’m going to try and get you a recording contract,” he opened the doors and pulled me inside.
I pulled my hand away. “Why?” I was nervous.
“Because then we can go to Hollywood together, you’re done school, right? You just graduated. I asked your mom to film it and send a copy to me,” he stroked my hair. I sucked in a sharp breath and exhaled.
“So you really want me to get a record deal?” my eyes were swimming with tears.
“Hey, hey don’t cry,” he hugged me tightly. My guitar pressed against my back. I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him back. Charles put the guitar down and reached into his pocket. He slipped a bracelet onto my wrist.
“What’s this?” I looked up at him.
“Your graduation gift. I was going to give it to you, but then you played that wonderful song and I had to bring you here,” he wiped my eyes. Charles’s own eyes were filled with tears. I hugged him tightly.
“What’s wrong?” I whispered.
“Nothing,” he mumbled.
“Tell me,” I pulled back and wiped a tear from his cheek.
He swallowed. “I had a girlfriend, back, back in Hollywood. She, she dumped me a few weeks ago. You just look so much like her,” he took in a shaky breath.
“It’s okay,” I stroked his cheek.
Best answer:
Answer by Worried 16
Hint: write less.
What do you think? Answer below!
PLEASE READ AND COMMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
by Mr. Memphis1982
Question by Ryssa: PLEASE READ AND COMMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
This is the first chapter of my book. What do you think?
I looked up at my wall and let my eyes fill with angry tears. How could he just up and leave? He was a star now, but I missed him. Charles’s picture hung everywhere. I had to be his biggest fan. He was my best friend.
He was just a pop star now. I wanted my best friend back. On the posters he was posing, sometimes with his shirt off and his awesome abs showing. My heart pounded hard every time I looked into the eyes of each of his posters. Man, was I in love with him.
Charles was coming back though. He was staying for two weeks this summer. Maybe I could convince him to come home permanently. My tears spilt over and I sobbed into my pillow. A knock sounded at my door and I wiped my eyes.
“Come in!” I called. The door opened and a familiar face popped in. It was Charles. I jumped off my bed and threw my arms around him. He hugged me to his chest.
“Someone’s a big fan,” he put me down. His voice was deeper than it had been six months ago. He walked around my room, looking at each of the posters. “You have nearly every poster made of me,” he turned back to me and hugged me again.
“I missed you,” I mumbled.
“I missed you too,” he let go of me. He looked over at my guitar. “You started playing?” He smiled at me. I nodded and picked up the guitar. I sat on my bed and adjusted my fingers.
“I first saw you under the stars, when I started school In Seymour,” I started strumming the guitar. “I don’t tell you how I feel cause . . .” I smiled. “No one is there to help me send.”
Charles sat next to me. His foot tapped to the beat and he smiled at my guitar. It was just like his. I changed chords a few times then started the chorus.
“I think of you every single day, I think about you everyday. I like how you are a sweet, loving person, it’s a pleasure to be sad around you,” this was true for me.
This whole song was true, I loved him so much. He was the best friend I met in grade school outside the school at night. Charles was still tapping his foot, but now his hand slapped against his knee to the beat as well.
“My life would be complete if we were together. When I started school In Seymour, I could only hope that we could be together. Naivety plaguing me,” I sung louder.
Charles’s face was full of approval. Both of his feet tapped in unison, his hand tapped against his knee, and his other hand was resting on my shoulder.
“I think of you every single day, I think about you everyday. I like how you are a sweet, loving person. A fight here or there but they weren’t that bad,” I strummed the guitar on my last chord and looked over at Charles again.
“Wow,” he chuckled. I blushed and took out a small book from under my mattress.
“These are my songs,” I handed it to him. He flipped through the book and jumped up. He took my hand and hurried me out of the room, then out of the house.
I was confused as he led me to his old SUV and he got me in and put my guitar carefully in the trunk. He drove us down to the recording studio where he had gotten his recording contract. Charles got my guitar and walked me up to the doors of the recording studio.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“I’m going to try and get you a recording contract,” he opened the doors and pulled me inside.
I pulled my hand away. “Why?” I was nervous.
“Because then we can go to Hollywood together, you’re done school, right? You just graduated. I asked your mom to film it and send a copy to me,” he stroked my hair. I sucked in a sharp breath and exhaled.
“So you really want me to get a record deal?” my eyes were swimming with tears.
“Hey, hey don’t cry,” he hugged me tightly. My guitar pressed against my back. I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him back. Charles put the guitar down and reached into his pocket. He slipped a bracelet onto my wrist.
“What’s this?” I looked up at him.
“Your graduation gift. I was going to give it to you, but then you played that wonderful song and I had to bring you here,” he wiped my eyes. Charles’s own eyes were filled with tears. I hugged him tightly.
“What’s wrong?” I whispered.
“Nothing,” he mumbled.
“Tell me,” I pulled back and wiped a tear from his cheek.
He swallowed. “I had a girlfriend, back, back in Hollywood. She, she dumped me a few weeks ago. You just look so much like her,” he took in a shaky breath.
“It’s okay,” I stroked his cheek.
Best answer:
Answer by Worried 16
Hint: write less.
What do you think? Answer below!