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How do I cope with this feeling?

Question by Terrence Mann: How do I cope with this feeling?
I’m 23 and I’ve never been in a relationship. I feel as if something is wrong with me. I’m a kind-hearted guy, funny, smart, compassionate, creative, shy, introverted, honest, trusty worthy, reliable, dependable, laid back, and caring to a fault. I care so much tell it hurts sometimes. I’ve never felt what mutual love or attraction feels like, and my heart feels empty. I have a lot of female friends and they and other people all tell me that I’m a great guy, and a girl would love to be with a guy like me. I have a degree in Marketing Management, I’m currently in art school studying audio production ( I’d live to be a recording artist and record producer ), and next yr I plan to move to L.A. to to study acting, and pursue a career in acting, and music. I got my degree in Marketing Management in case things fall through with music and acting. I have become really good friends with some girls and we exchange numbers and stuff and things seem to be going well and I just lose contact with them and I just don’t understand why? I’m not smothering or anything. I kinda have a hard time approaching girls, mostly b/c I’m shy…but also b/c I find myself to be unattractive and I figure they probably would too or just not be interested. I feel like I’ve never had a girl take interest in me ( I have thought a girl was interested in me many times and ended up wrong ), or I just didn’t know a girl was interested in me. I feel like this is just how my life is going to be. The old cliche goes, “It’s better to be loved, than not be loved at all.” I guess I will never know. Sorry for the long details, but I’d appreciate it if anyone could give some advice about how to cope with things feelings. Thanks and God bless you all.

Best answer:

Answer by Willie
A woman’s attraction triggers can’t be flipped by the NICE guy.

Because deep down inside it makes them feel that you will not be able to protect her.

If you are too scared and shy of women, how will you protect her from a looney in society.

They sometimes go for asholes but that is only because at least the asholes has some balls.

They much prefer a man who is assertive, confident, funny but not arrogant.

You main problem is that you think you are some amazing mind reader, which you obviously are not. My point is how do you know if she finds you attractive or not attractive? Maybe you approached women without expecting approval from her she will sense that you are not concerned whether she WANTS you or not and will find THAT attitude attractive.

Women are not stupid, they know that when a guy comes off as too nice, they know he is doing in it because he doesn’t want to hurt his chances with her. She then sees that as manipulative and desperate.

Women would rather you be bold and upfront, they know you want to have sex, heck they want to have sex too they ARE human you know and they LOVE sex too. Don’t kid yourself buddy.

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