Q&A: Confusions from people’s decisions; need help?

Question by Arctic King: Confusions from people’s decisions; need help?
I have a system where I have no choice but to have everything really heavily worked out and precise, this is so that I can make plans on how to sort out a given situation. It involves tactical mapping, measurements and precision. This is not though a choice of my own, but circumstances and a team of people.

I have got stuck on a problem where by an apparent agreement keeps changing and the rules are not clear. An example of this can be when people say “I will maybe, do this; it depends”.
They do this when there is no way to be able to control or determine on what their decision depends on; it is what my mother used to do when I was a child if wanted something, and she would say “it depends on how you behave” (which again is down to her interpretation and not mine, so my good or bad intensions are not a good enough as a determination for what to plan!).

This uncertainty where many different outcomes could occur, is making it impossible for me to be able to map and plot what is to happen, and is blocking my ability to make plans.
I need to be able to make a tactical analysis and need to know how to overcome this sort of problem.
How can I factor this kind of uncertainty into this tactical mapping and plotting?
I have to be able to map and calculate things, and I can’t do it if the rules keep changing and are not clear and concise. If I make plans, they could cause conflicts with innumerable possible outcomes, especially if new considerations become involved.

I have tried with things like this in the past; to sign a peace of paper and make a contract, or state clearly what it depends on; but they forget and say that this was not how it was agreed.
I have thought about tape recording them so that I can work this out.
I have even tried to make them agree on strictly clear terms, but it falls apart; even with witnesses.
And yes, I have caused serious problems when people have introduced things that I never knew about. For instance a case where someone never told me that there was going to be a meeting until 3 hours before due to them thinking it would stop me getting anxious (in my best interest against my consent), I thought it was the meeting planners fault, and I phoned them up and swore and ranted at them in an explosion of anger and gave them a good bollockin’.

Is there a way to factor such uncertainty into my planning methods, so that I can avoid such an accident?

CREED

Best answer:

Answer by Ed Atun
Yes. Go back to putting everything in writing. That is the best strategy. Using a tape recording is for later, if you need to go to court to prove your case. Your situation is not that dire. It is still under control.

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